Tsumetai Tsuki
by KuroNekoShoujo
Summary: Hisoka's musing on the moon, and what meaning it holds for him...


**Hi peoples!! I am the certifiably insane Neko-chan, and this is my first ever Yami no Matsuei fic!! Ok, that's not entirely true, I do have one YNM cross over fic, but this is my first stand alone fic for this category!! YAY!!!**

**Ok, now on to the fic itself. This whole thing is told from Hisoka's perspective, just so you're not confused. Also, for those of you who are wondering about the title, _tsumetai tsuki_ is Japanese for "cold moon."**

**Oh, and here are some words you will need to know to understand this story:**

**_Tsuki_ = moon**

**_Taiyou_ = sun**

**Warning: This fic contains non-graphic descriptions of rape and torture. No like, no read.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the bishies of Yami no Matsuei. I just enjoy messing with their heads. *evil grin***

_************_

_Tsuki_.

To the Greeks, the moon was a goddess of purity and power, who was the protector of women and the guardian over children. She was also a goddess of freedom and chastity, who vowed never to be taken by a man.

_Tsuki_.

Such a simple name to describe an object that has held power over the human imagination since time began. Just this one, small word has the ability to conjure up images of magical enchantments and ethereal beauty in our imaginations.

_Tsuki_.

But to me, the moon holds no such mystery. For I know the true face of this orbiting rock. It is no caring protector, no loving goddess. It is not but a harsh, cold spectator, silently casting it's cruel gaze on the people below.

_Tsuki_.

For if, as the Greeks say, the moon is a protector of women, then tell me, where was that protection three years ago, on a night strewn with cherry blossoms? When a woman was attacked by a demon in white under the light of the so called, "protector" moon. And why didn't that "protection" keep the demon from painting the Earth below crimson with the woman's blood?

_Tsuki_.

Where was the guardian over children, when the demon set his sights on me, the only witness to his horrific crime? And when I ran, terror clouding every one of my senses, where was the guardian who should have helped me escape, instead of simply watching as he tackled me to the ground?

_Tsuki_.

Where was the defender of chastity, when the demon tore away my clothes, sadistic lust shining in those cold silver eyes? Why did the moon do nothing but observe, as the he slowly peeled away his own clothes, as he traced his blood stained hands all over my skin, and finally, when he forced his way into my body? Why were my screams and cries of agony ignored, as I writhed and struggled beneath him, feeling as though I were being torn apart from the inside out.

_Tsuki_.

Where was this goddess of freedom, when the he carved his spell into my flesh? Where was she when the demon in white made me his puppet, his play thing? And, every night, for the next three years, as I shook with the pain of his curse, why did this goddess not hear my voice, pleading for someone, anyone, to finally put an end to it all?

_Tsuki_.

Through all my trauma, through all my suffering, the moon has done nothing but watch me...haunt me. It's image is forever burned into my mind's eye, casting it's cold gaze upon me as I lay trapped and broken beneath the man who would take everything from me. My innocence, my freedom, and my life.

_Tsuki_.

No matter what the circumstances, whenever I see that harsh, cold moon, I am immediately taken back to that night. I will feel his hands on my skin, the blade of his knife carving my flesh. And I will hear his voice, as cold as that haunting moon, reminding me that I am now, and ever will be, his doll.

_Tsuki_.

I thought I would never escape from it. Not even in sleep could I attain peace, because that cold orb plagued my dreams, constantly looking down on me, making me relive the one night of my life I would give anything to forget. Just like that man's curse, I would never be rid of that terrible, frigid moon.

_Tsuki_.

But then, I met him.

_Taiyou_.

He was the most irritating person I had ever met. He was loud, obnoxious, and had no respect for boundaries. He was always hanging all over me, even knowing how much I hated to be touched.

_Taiyou_.

And yet, he was, without a doubt, one of the gentlest people I've ever met. He seemed to radiate affection and tenderness the same way the sun radiates warmth. No matter how cold I was to him, no matter how much I pushed him away, those amethyst eyes of his never showed any hint of anger or hate, and he never stopped showing me that kindness.

_Taiyou_.

He was the type of person who would cry for the pain complete stranger. He would shine his light and warmth on anyone who needed it, even those who professed to hate him on more than one occasion, like me. And, eventually, that warmth began to melt the icy emptiness that the moon had left inside me.

_Taiyou_.

Before I even realized it was happening, he had become an irreplaceable part of my life. He was my sun, my source of life, and, in essence, my salvation from the cold, loney existence to which I had been condemned.

_Taiyou_.

There are still nights when the cold light of the moon will take me back. Back to that bloodstained night under the cherry tree, and back into the clutches of that demon in white.

_Taiyou_.

But during those nights, he is by my side. He is there, to comfort me, to heal me, and to remind me that, though the night may seem to stretch on forever, and the cold gaze of the moon may seem unwavering, both will eventually be chased away, and be replaced by the welcoming light and warmth of the sun.

********

**So, there you have it. What do you think? Was it any good? I know it was a little difficult to understand at times, but I still really liked it, and I hope you did as well. Please please please PLEASE let me know your opinion in a review. Good or bad, I want to know what you think, so please review!!!**

**Thank you so much for reading this!! Ta ta for now!**

**~Neko-chan~**


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